


The private life of Sherlock Holmes

by DollyBird (Milly69)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Anorexia, Anxiety, Arguing, Awkward Sexual Situations, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bulimia, Cheating Sherlock, Consensual Underage Sex, Cunnilingus, Doggy Style, Drugs, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Gay Sex, Gen, Handcuffs, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Minor Violence, Multi, One Night Stands, Oral Sex, Other, POV John Watson, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, Possessive John, Possessive Moriarty, Possessive Sherlock, Punching, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Drugs, Secret Relationship, Semi-Public Sex, Sexting, Sexual Coercion, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Frustration, Sherlock Holmes - Freeform, Sherlock Holmes and Drug Use, Stalker Jim Moriarty, Stranger Sex, Sugar Daddy, Texting, Therapy, Threats of Violence, Threesome - F/M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, Underage Drug Use, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:00:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 31
Words: 17,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milly69/pseuds/DollyBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John are investigating a case when Moriarty visits and raises questions in John's mind about Sherlock's ability to love one person faithfully.</p><p>Just how far does Sherlock go to 'investigate'? Does this affect his ability to love John?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moriarty causes a rift between Sherlock and John.

Sherlock carressed his whip. He brought it down hard onto the corpse once, twice, three times with such ferocity it frightened me.

'Sherlock?' I shouted over the noise. 

Thwack thwack thwack.

'Sherlock? Jim's here. He says he wants...'  
Silence.  
I cleared my throat and gulped. 

Sherlock was still for a moment before he turned to face us.  
'Hello, darling Sherlock. Is that a stolen 19th century whip in your hand?'  
Sherlock smirked. He walked to the armchair by the roaring fire. He had taken to snorting cocaine and I wondered if he would do a line now in front of Moriarty. 

'So...'  
'So...' Jim watched Sherlock intently. His eyes moved to his trousers as he got up and paced the room. 

'John and I have an appointment at 6 sharp.'  
'Ooh, table for two? So romantic!'  
I couldn't help smiling at how wrong he was.  
'No. A case. Please hurry.' 

The clock chimed 5.30pm. Sherlock began to pace again.  
'Well, well, well. You two lover boys have got yourself in murky waters this time!'  
'Yes...?'  
'I've had all my little helpers out and boy have they been useful. By the way, have you put weight on? Your trousers seem to be,' Jim sighed with pleasure, 'tight in all the right places.'  
Sherlock stopped short.

'And what have your little helpers found?'  
'My little helpers have been telling me you and your boyfriend have been frequenting The Nag's Head.'

'So...?'  
'So...' Jim mimicked again.  
'And what sort of deranged conclusion have you reached about our activities?'

'Well...' Jim sat down by the fire and began stoking it gently with the poker. 'We both know what happens there with teenage boys, Sherlock darling.'

There was silence apart from Sherlock's breathing. Our eyes met. I felt my cock stir as he clenched his eyes shut and turned away. 

He lent fowards against the desk and I knew he was hard. I ignored my erection and tried to placate Jim. 

'The Nag's head is just a gay pub. Nothing happens there, apart from in your sordid imagination.'

'Oh doesn't it? Perhaps you'd better ask Sherlock about that. Although of course, if you know the newspaper version of him you'd never think it for a minute. Innocent eyes seeking justice. Beautiful soft curls.'

'Just what exactly are you trying to say, Jim?'

'Ohh, so naive. I know why he loves to fuck you!'

'Jim.' I stood up. 'Get out!' I gestured towards the door. 'GET OUT NOW before I...'

'Oh dear, have I caused a lover's tiff?'

I lost my temper then. I went towards him with my fists clenched but Jim had sprung up too quickly, swearing and crying, 'no...no'. Not thinking straight I ran full pelt down the stairs. 

I looked towards the end of Baker Street and I could see him sprinting away in his trainers. How badly I wanted to thump his face!

I felt tears pricking my eyes. I was pumped full of adrenaline when I needed to calmly ask Sherlock about the revelations.

I walked back up to the flat with a feeling of dread. I didn't feel like receiving shock news about Sherlock. Not now. Not ever. He had become a stranger to me once more.

'What was that about?' I asked more bluntly than I had intended. 

'A cruel wind up. Ignore him.'  
'It turned you on.'  
'Sorry?'  
'When Jim was talking about teenage boys.'  
'So what?'  
'You mean you fancy young boys?'  
'Occasionally, yes. If you must know. It depends on appearance. Intellect. Character. Eagerness!'

'So you've been up to something in that pub? How does Jim know about it?'

I could feel myself descending into an infinite black hole of irritation. The feeling was common during conversations with Sherlock Holmes. 

'I don't know what he knows. Do you know what he knows?'  
'No.'  
'No. Well. He could know nothing.'

I gave up at this point. I was smiling at Sherlock. He was gazing adoringly at me and I felt I could investigate no further.

'He doesn't wind me up as much as you do.' I pinched his bum and walked abruptly to the kitchen.

'John!' I sat down at the table. 'Remember your manners!' He shouted after me.  
'All these men sexually harassing me!' I heard him say as he opened today's Times.

I felt bolder for being around the corner from Sherlock then. I couldn't see his face.

'So you've slept with one of these teenage intellectuals then...In The Nag's Head?'

'John! It's none of your business.'

'It is my business when Moriarty embarrasses me by knowing more about you than I do.'

I heard him close the paper. 

I was worried he would shut off abruptly into one of his many silent moods where he would blank me for hours and sometimes days, but he didn't.

He changed the subject. 

There was a knock at the door soon after and we became business partners once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John take a taxi ride with a mysterious driver and make their own entertainment.

'Are you going to tell me what happens in The Nag's Head, then?'

I knew I was labouring the point but I wanted to wind Sherlock up.

We were in the back of a cab making its way towards Westminster in lunchtime traffic. Sherlock hadn't told me why but I had assumed it was related to the latest case.

'I am allowed to have secrets, John. Especially if they will be explained at some point in the near future.'

He continued looking out of the window but then turned to look at me. He brushed my lips with his, lent back and told me to be patient. He turned away again but I placed my hand over his gently. I squeezed his fingers and the familiar electrical jolt surged through my groin awakening my cock.

Sherlock looked round again, this time grinning. 

'By the way, I know what you're really after...'

This time his kiss was so passionate and deep I lost myself in his mouth. My tongue took on a life of its own and his hot breath aroused me even more. We kissed for quite a while until I moved Sherlock's hand to the large tent in my trousers. He pulled away and straightened out his jacket. 

'Taxi, John. Taxi.'

My cock was so hard I had lost the ability to think. I pulled my trousers and underwear down over my cock and stared at Sherlock with a pleading look on my face. It had been a long time. A whole week in fact.

He looked at me sideways on and I could see he was aroused enough not to care. 

He bent down slowly and took most of my cock in his mouth. A deep groan escaped from my lips. I looked at the back of the cabby's head and prayed for him to look in the rear view mirror but he didn't. He carried on stopping and starting the vehicle. 

I pushed his head down further, caressing his beautiful wild curls until he deep throated me. I tried not to make too much noise as he stroked my balls but as he sped up with his mouth I was heading for an almighty orgasm.

'Ohfuck ohfuck ohfuck,' I whispered. 

Sherlock swallowed the pre cum hungrily until I was racked with waves of pleasure so strong I had to fight hard to be quiet. I shot huge wads of cum down his throat making him moan with pleasure as he gulped my load.

He lifted his head from my cock and wiped his mouth looking deep into my eyes.

'That's why you've been nagging me. You dirty boy,' Sherlock's eyes beamed. 'Will you stop digging now?'

I pulled my trousers and underwear back up and straightened my shirt. I cleared my throat and felt myself blush.

'Sherlock, does it ever cross your mind that I might be concerned for your safety?'

'Nonsense. A convenient excuse to display possessive jealousy.'

'And that I might have developed feelings for you that aren't sexual?' I asked loudly.

The cabby's head moved to the mirror slightly. 

'That was purely motivated by arousal.'

'Yes, the blow job was, I admit that...'

Sherlock raised his hand as if to order me to stop talking. 

We had arrived at the Houses of Parliament and I suddenly felt rather overwhelmed and small.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to see his therapist.

'So how are things for you, John?'

'Not too bad. We've been busy on a case which is a emotionally distressing for me...largely because it doesn't seem to be for Sherlock!'

'This is your...partner?'

I looked up at him and sighed.

'My kind-of boyfriend, yeah.'

'Are you able to tell me why it has distressed you?'

A week after we had visited parliament I was sitting in my therapy session.  
Sam was a little older than me and extremely experienced, having practiced for twenty years both in the NHS and in his new private practice.

'Sometimes Sherlock shuts off from me and I'm left to try and work out what the facts of the case are.'

'You feel he cuts you out emotionally?'

'Yeah. All of a sudden he doesn't tell me anything but wants me around and gets irritated when I don't know what's happening.'

'I notice you avoided my question.'

'Shit. Sorry. Did I?'

'How is the case distressing you?'

I was silent. I couldn't put it into words but I knew what was coming and I was frightened it would rip me apart. 

'Erm...I've learnt something about Sherlock.' 

My nervous tick of stroking the back of my neck kicked in and I blushed.

Sam waited in silence.

'I can't deal with it. I didn't realise he was like that. I thought he was...' 

I couldn't control the sobs. They appeared suddenly and violently and for a period of five minutes all I could do was pull tissues from a box. I felt so lonely and abandoned. I'm sure Sam would have loved to hear those thoughts and analyse my feelings but I couldn't voice them.

'Sometimes all my patients want is the space to sit and be emotional with the support of another person. This is your time. Don't rush anything, John.'

I took a couple of deep breaths. 

'Sherlock is attracted to children.' I blurted it out quickly then shut my eyes against the horrific reality of the words floating in the air.

'Have you found some evidence of this?'

'No. Someone has told me. I asked him and he said he fancied young men.'

'Young men? Children?'

'Under the age of consent. So children, yes. Illegal.' I muttered.

Sam lent back in his chair and joined his hands together in a thoughtful pose.

'He fancies them but has there been any actual abuse, John?'

'I have no idea.'

'This troubles and upsets you. Were you taken advantage of in childhood at all?'

'A few times, yes. I think I see sex as attention seeking. It's like my security action plan when I don't feel loved.'

'That's very common in survivors of abuse. Is Sherlock very dominant in your relationship?'

'Well...yeah he cooks and pays the bills. I suppose I kind of rely on him for money and company.'

'John, sometimes men who appear to be father figures are actually the complete opposite. They are looking to hold power over someone less able or confident than they are.'

'Yeah...yeah I know. Sherlock isn't like that. He wouldn't do that. He likes to take care of me.'

'Do you trust him?'

'Yeah...yeah I do.'

'But you are having doubts over his ability to be faithful or have consensual sex if he does stray?'

I sighed. I was confused. I loved Sherlock but he was being a complete cock lately. I wondered if my emotional baggage was causing it.

'I guess I don't trust him. I don't feel he loves me. The sex is the best I've ever had. I'm addicted to that. But it's hollow.'

'Have you been on any dates since moving in with Sherlock, John?'

'It's funny you should say that. I was just updating my profile on fruits.com last night.'

'Maybe have a night out with someone new. Have some fun. Be in the moment.'

'Yeah...yeah. You're right. I'll do that.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John receive a message.

'Sherlock, what the fuck is this?'

I held a CD in my hands which I had taken out of a jiffy bag. It was lying in the hallway when I returned. It had been hand delivered and had 'PLAY ME' written on it in black felt tip.

'Where's Mrs Hudson? She normally brings up packages?'

'I dunno. I could be wrong but I'm not getting good vibes from this particular...gift.'

'What's on the envelope?'

'It just says JOHN.'

'Right. Do we play or bin it?'

'In view of recent events I think we need to play the game.'

I walked towards Sherlock's desktop and pushed the CD in.

'I must say this is very 2004. Who inserts things these days?!' I joked.

I clicked autoplay and a video began.

I froze. 

I heard moans above a motor. It took me a while to realise it was Sherlock moaning and there were two men in the back of a taxi engaged in oral sex.

Me. Sherlock. Us.

'Do you wanna tell me what's going on?' I could feel my body tense up with fear. Someone else had seen this. How many others?

'John...I have no idea. Obviously there must have been a hidden camera. Do taxis have CCTV these days? I suppose everywhere does. Shit.'

He paced the room.

'Secret packages sent anonymously. Mind games. This is Moriarty I'm sure of it.'

'How the hell has Moriarty managed to get this footage?' I shouted, amazed at how calm Sherlock was.

'Oh I'm sure Jim has his sources like I have mine!'

'So who else has seen this? It could be on the Internet for all we know.'

I thought I saw Sherlock smile and then I felt really angry.

'I'm glad you think it's funny.'

'John it's just a blow job. No one's interested. Jim is really fucking with your mind and you need to wise up my boy.'

'Google 'Sherlock sex tape'.'

Sherlock sighed. 'Alright...alright.'

He sat down at his computer and typed it into the search box. 

'How many results?' My heart raced and my cock stirred, half thrilled, half frightened.

'2695.' Sherlock's face dropped.

'Oh jesus. Oh jesus. Fucking hell. I'm gonna die.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John makes a decision.

'I'm joking, John.'

I stared at him in disbelief. 

'There are no results. A couple of articles speculating about our business...arrangements. Nothing else.'

'Sherlock...' I could feel my rage mounting.

'Sorry, John. Are you alright? You've gone red in the face?' 

He stood up from his computer. Just the right height for my fist.

Thump!

'John!'

I raised my finger to point at him and he flinched as if I would hit him once more.

'Don't you dare do that to me ever again! Jesus! You don't have to see the same people day in day out like me.'

'It's only Monday's to Wednesday's. You'd cope.'

'You don't give a flying fuck about me at the moment. I know you're fucking Jim. I'm not stupid.' I shouted so loudly Sherlock stepped back and held his hands up. He had never done that before.

'John. You need to calm down. Seriously.'

'Yeah? I need to calm down, do I? I wish I'd never met you.'

Sherlock made a strange noise.

'Shit. OK. That hurts.'

He realised what he'd said and rubbed his jaw as if it were physical pain but I knew I was getting to him.

'You haven't been paying me any attention lately.'

'I have! You mean sex...?' He smiled. 

I gulped. I knew what was coming and I had to get away from him before I ended up on my back moaning.

'No! That route is not available to you at this moment in time. Use your fucking hand. Or Jim.'

I was so angry I went to the bedroom and started to pack some of my clothes into a suitcase. Jackets, shirts, ties...I started to cry.

'You're a mean bastard, Sherlock, and I have had enough.' I muttered to myself as I packed.

I caught sight of Sherlock in the door frame trying hard to look sexy. He'd refreshed his hair and his eyes flared as we glanced at each other. 

'I can see you're upset.' His voice was deep and unsteady.

'John. Please don't do this. Not again.'

'Well they say it takes a few times to leave permanently.'

'Jim means nothing. It's just...sex. I can't stand the sight of him. He bullies me.'

'So you have been fucking him?'

I was holding a copy of Attitude that I hadn't read and I was so tempted to knock his smug head off with it. 

'John...you're so young...there's so much you don't understand about life.'

'You were my first Sherlock. You ARE my first. I don't know any different to you. I don't know any other sex. I don't know if I'm gay or bisexual. All I do know is I have to get away from you right now otherwise I might just...' I breathed out and carried on packing.

'I'll be so lonely without you. Please please please don't leave. Where will you stay? Who will look after you?'

I gave Sherlock a dirty look and stormed out of the flat slamming the heavy door loudly.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John starts an adventure.

My iPhone bleeped:

You'll come back u always do

It bleeped again:

U left your coat you'll be cold

It bleeped again:

Where r u?

And then, finally, it lit up. I had put it on silent at that point:

I've topped our account up with 20k. More if needed. Just say the word xx

That made me close my eyes with pleasure. It was closely followed with a realisation that I could easily be tracked if I used my card. I felt a fog of gloom descend. 

I had managed to find a room in a youth hostel. It was strangely quiet and I felt tense wondering if I might soon have company. It was the weekend so I heard evidence of nightlife outside the hostel. I wanted badly to be outside but I had nowhere to go. No money. No family.

I turned over in bed, curled up and began to masturbate slowly thinking it would aid sleep. It took me back to the days before I lived with Sherlock and our sexting. Studying for my A levels in Electricity, Chemistry and Biology, as it were.

I smiled to myself as the fond memories raced through my head. If only that year could have lasted with Sherlock making me the centre of his world for an eternity. 

I had picked up my phone and browsed some gay porn to speed up the process when the dormitory door opened.

'Hi,' I called to my fellow visitor.

'Oh, hi. I didn't wake you up, did I?'

I got out of my bunk to face her. She was an odd looking girl, hauling a giant camping rucksack. She was wearing skinny jeans, a beautiful Scandinavian style jumper and some expensive-looking boots. Her face was flawless and she had the most exquisite black curly hair.

'I'm Lottie.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Lottie have a moment.

I wasn't a straight virgin but I had very limited experience with the fairer sex. There was Kate. I dated her for six months. 

Lottie was an easy lay. She was on the rebound from her girlfriend who she had argued with...like me.

We started chatting. I could feel she was getting hot after she shared a bottle of plonk with me and a spark of electricity was flying so I made my move and kissed her.

She returned my affection for her with a full on session.

I soon had her bra off and I couldn't stop running my hands over her soft skin and pushing her tits together. She was so beautiful I couldn't believe my luck. 

I had a feeling she wouldn't give me head so I decided to take the lead and be generous in the hope of a grateful favour.

I lent down after removing her clothes and pulling her knees apart gently. 

'Ahhh...yes...'

I kissed the insides of her legs while I fingered her clit. 

She opened her legs wider and whispered 'inside...please.'

I gently slid one of my fingers inside her soft pussy which was already slick and then joined it with two others. The feeling of softness overwhelmed me. I shut my eyes with pleasure and felt my cock harden considerably as Lottie purred. 

I lifted my head up from her legs to her clit and licked her slowly, circling my tongue gently then licking her bud slightly harder, varying the pressure and speed while I plunged my fingers in and out of her.

'Oooh shit you're good!' Her moans were so deep and guttural they vibrated through her.

I smiled to myself as I sucked her harder then flicked my tongue repeatedly against her clit. 

My cock was throbbing so hard at that point but I was lost in her increasingly wet pussy. 

I shifted onto my back and prompted her to turn over and go all fours so I could lick up inside her. She happily obliged.

She lowered her pussy down onto my mouth and pushed gently until my tongue played the game and went fully inside her.

She hadn't expected that. She moaned deeply. She sounded as if she were about to lose consciousness and I knew I was doing it right.

I reached up and rubbed her clit gently while I tongue fucked her pussy as deeply as I could. 

She began to rock slightly on my face but as I moaned with pleasure and she noticed my throbbing erection she pushed down harder and properly fucked my tongue. 

'Ooooh I'm going to cum so hard. Ahh fuck, ahhh fuck.'

She was of the apparently rare girls who ejaculates so I was sprayed with cum on my face which I enjoyed immensely. 

'You got any condoms? I really need to be inside you so bad. Like five minutes ago!' I laughed, praying she would magically produce some.

She did.

I rolled a ribbed condom on eagerly and she returned to all fours. 

'From behind?' I asked. I was wondering how long I would manage to last. 

She looked round at me and groaned yes.

The pleasure of sliding into her pussy was like falling into blistering heaven.

Straight away she bucked back against me taking me fully inside her.

She was off! She bucked back again and I could hear her pussy was thoroughly wet. I added some deep thrust and she was purring again as we fucked forcefully. I couldn't resist reaching round and rubbing her bud again as I thrust particularly deeply inside her. I added speed to the mix and she started swearing calling me a mad bastard! 

Aren't girls strange?

I pulled her arms back to lift her up slightly and fucked harder and faster. She started to scream a little and I lost my breath. She bucked back against my thrusts and I knew it wouldn't be long.

'I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum until it runs down your legs, you fucking...' and then it hit me. The strongest orgasm. I felt myself cumming deeply inside her pussy in such powerful waves it took my breath away and I was demolished.

'Ahhh, Lottie.'

We were just settling down after I had tied a knot in the condom and thrown it overboard when I heard someone come in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a revelation!

The door crashed open and I heard someone flick the light switch without success.

'John?' I heard Sherlock say quietly. 

Lottie had disappeared out of the bunk bed and I was hoping she would hide underneath another. 

'John? You're in very great danger. Answer me.'

My stomach clenched. Would he find Lottie and how would I explain the condom in full view of Sherlock?

'John. Lottie has been sent to kill you. Stay where you are.'

The words stuck in the air and I couldn't move. What kind of game was he playing now?

I heard the sound of bare feet across the floor and my heart flew with fear.

Sherlock fished his phone out of his pocket and used his torch app. We could see each other but Lottie was invisible. 

I could see he had his gun cocked and I knew it was all real.

He crept round the room turning all the bedside lamps on. 

I felt a wave of protective love for Sherlock and a huge pang of guilt.

'Don't move!' I heard Sherlock shout and I knew he'd found her.

I stood up and saw she had hidden between two beds. She looked scared but I was shocked to see she was pointing a gun back at Sherlock.

'What the fuck is going on?' I shouted.

Sherlock glanced at me and his eyes moved to my cock for a milisecond before he turned back to Lottie.

'I've been keeping tabs on you John...and it's just as well.'

'I'm sorry?' I felt my anger rise.

'Charlotte Willoughby. 21 years of age. Hairdresser. Lottie 678 on Tinder. Likes oral and S&M. Always the last to leave a party.' Sherlock's voice was deep and full of emotion.

'How the fuck did you know that? You know nothing about Tinder?'

'Oh. Don't I, 'takeitlikeaman 69'?' Sherlock glanced at me with his eyes flashing. 'Take off your Sherlock wig, Lottie.'

Her Sherlock wig?

Much to my surprise she reached up and pulled her black curls off to reveal a mass of beautiful blonde straight locks.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More revelations...and a bacon roll!

'John, meet Jim's...girlfriend.'

I stared open mouthed at Lottie as these revelations greeted my ears and eyes one after another.

'Girlfriend?'

'She works in parliament, don't you Charlotte?'

So far Lottie hadn't said a word. She was staring at Sherlock and hadn't met my eyes once.

'Jesus! No! Not for a bloody MP?'

Lottie snarled at me.

'For Lord Carshalton. She's the granddaughter of Sir Perigren Wolfmeiser.' Sherlock informed me.

'Oh my god!' I was robbed of breath at this news.

'Charlotte, listen to me. Listen carefully because I will say it only once. OK?' Sherlock said quietly.

She nodded.

'We can both leave this room alive. I won't tell Jim about us and you'll keep quiet about the various addictions we share.'

'Us'? What did he mean?

'You're a beautiful girl. You deserve a good life. You know you'll suffer if you kill us. Jim won't care.'

She slowly put her gun down. She looked very worried.

'If you ever need any help...if you leave Jim...I'll be there for you.' 

'He bullies me...brainwashes me. I can't think my own thoughts. He's so powerful.'

'Don't I know it,' Sherlock whispered to himself.

'Give your gun to me.' 

She reluctantly slid it across the floor. He kicked it outside the room through the open door.

'Come on, John. Let's get out of here.'

Once we were outside the youth hostel I hesitated, not wanting to go back to Baker Street with him.

'Woah! What just happened there? I think we need to talk!'

'Why?'

'Jesus, Sherlock!'

I took the lead and walked down the road towards a cafe that would be serving an early breakfast. The road was quiet apart from an early jogger. 

I ordered a bacon roll and a cup of tea. Sherlock wanted a black coffee and toast with jam. 

We both sat down and I felt nervous. This was the first time we had sat in a cafe for a long time. He tended to communicate his few feelings of emotion to me while face to face. 

I had so many questions I didn't know where to start.

We ate in silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another session with Sam...

It was a grey day. The rain was pattering softly onto the conservatory of Sam's house. I couldn't remember how many therapy sessions I'd had but it ceased being awkward around this point and I felt we had built a strong bond.

'Do you mind if we focus on your childhood today, John?'

'No. No, go ahead. It might take a few sessions.'

'I've got two hours free if we need them.'

'Oh, OK.'

There was a long silence after this and I took a sip of my Earl Grey tea.

'Did you want me to start...or are you going to prompt?' I asked.

'Would that make it easier?'

'I dunno. I suppose so, yes.'

'OK. Remind me how old you were when you were first adopted?'

'Oh wow. Erm...about six I think. Yeah.'

'What do you remember about it?'

'Nothing much actually.'

'New school? Brothers or sisters? New bedroom? Toys? No memories of anything at all?'

'I remember the school obviously but the house...no I just can't remember.'

'You don't remember the fire?'

'I'm afraid I don't...no.'

He wrote several things down on his notepad at this point. 

'From what point in your childhood do you have memories, John?'

'I remember the care home.'

'How old were you then?'

'Eight. I was eight. A new school again.'

'Your strongest memories are always of school?'

I nodded. I had a flashback to the care home and its cheap veneer furniture. The punch mark on the door and wardrobe they said would get fixed but never did. The view out of the window of the local park. Drug deals by night and five a side by day. 

'Did you make friends in the home?'

'Yeah I was mates with a girl called Paula. I told her everything.'

'Was that your only friend? Any male friends?'

'Not really. I never played football.'

Sam wrote some more and I finished my cup of tea. I looked round the conservatory and noted all the suave furnishings and the wooden futon bed. 

I looked back again to catch Sam looking at me. 

'Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?'

'Yeah, yeah. I'll stay in the youth hostel. It'll be fine. Think I'll book a single room tonight though.' 

'Did you ever run away?'

I looked down and wanted another cup of tea to distract me. 

'Yeah. I did once or twice.'

'So things weren't pleasant?'

'No. There was a lot of bullying and drinking when I reached secondary school. I used to steal money and catch the train to get away.'

'Can you tell me where you went?'

'I was so desperate to meet some other gay guys and just get away...'

'Where did you go, John?'

I sobbed quietly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam delves deeper.

I shifted uneasily in my seat. It suddenly felt too hard and uncomfortable. 

'I came to London. I was...oooh...thirteen I think.' I took a gulp of air and steadied myself. Sam pushed the box of tissues towards me.

'That's young to fend for yourself. Even for one night.'

'Yeah. Yeah, it is. I was sleeping rough but occasionally this van would come round with religious people in it and they'd give us soup. Nice guys.' 

'Do you think this has set up a pattern for you? Of running away and not caring where you end up?'

'Probably, yeah. I mean I really don't care sometimes.'

'Living on your charm basically. Seeing what turns up?'

'Yeah.'

'Being passive and hoping others will run your life for you?'

This jolted me. I looked up. 

'Are you saying I'm playing a victim?'

'No. No, that's not what I'm saying at all.'

I took a deep breath. I really needed another tea. 

'So is this when you met Sherlock?'

'Jesus! That's a bit blunt.'

I squeezed my eyes shut and when I opened them Sam was looking concerned. 

'Would you like another cup of tea? We can come back to this if you like?'

Sam got up, taking my mug with him. I followed him to the kitchen and smiled when he got the biscuit tin out for me. There was shortbread, chocolate fingers, jammy dodgers and wafers. I picked a finger and munched hungrily. 

'Are you eating OK?'

'Yeah. I missed dinner last night though!'

'Would you like some lunch later?' Sam asked me. I couldn't believe he was being so pally with me after questioning me so forcefully and professionally. 

'Here?'

'Where else would it be?' He turned round and smiled broadly at me. He stirred our cups of tea.

'Oh, erm, I dunno. Here's fine.' 

'My wife is a lecturer at the local college. She's due back at about 4.'

Why was he telling me about his wife?

We walked back to the conservatory without saying anything and drank our tea. Sam switched the radio on and I munched on my fingers.

'Police say a body has been found in a basement flat in London. The body is believed to be of a young male and the death is being treated as suspicious. The police would like to speak to anyone in the Baker Street area of London between the hours of 1am and 6am this morning. Now here with the weather is Tom. How are things looking, Tom?'

'Well...it's a bit of a mixed bag today Sue...'


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John suffers a fright...

I stared at the radio for a couple of moments until Sam asked me if I was OK.

I mumbled something about seeing him soon and walked out of his house.

I texted Sherlock 'R U OK?' then hailed a taxi.

'No. Mayhem. Come quickly. S xx'

The traffic was so bad it was faster to run the final ten minutes of the journey.

I got to the front door and it felt as if I were a complete stranger. I hesitated before I went in. I felt watched. I turned around and saw a flash of black near a car. As I walked closer I saw another flash. 

Inspector Greg Lestrade!

'Greg...why are you hiding from me?'

'I'm not hiding from you...I'm hiding from...'

I turned and saw what he was looking at. One of his colleagues.

'Hello Mr Watson. Lestrade. I hear we have a body.' Sally Donovan spoke very loudly as she always did.

'Yeah. I heard...' I started.

'Sherlock wanted some time alone with it so I came out for some fresh air.' Lestrade hurriedly mumbled.

'What do we know so far?' I asked. 

'Male. 13-16. No fixed abode...'

'How do you know that?' I asked.

'Sherlock told me. He's seen him...around.' Lestrade gave me a meaningful look. It took a while but I knew to shut up.

'Evidence of drug use within the past couple of days and of forced sexual activity. Blindfolded and gagged...'

'So how has he ended up in our basement flat?'

'It's a warning to Sherlock. He's getting too close on his case. You know about The Nag's Head, I'm assuming?'

'Yeah...yeah. We keep getting distracted from it though.'

'You will do. These things are normally left alone. You'll upset a lot of powerful people. Including one called Jim.'

'Yeah I know. We have to investigate if someone tips us off with child abuse. Anyway, I need to speak to Sherlock.'

Crossing the road away from Sally and Greg I entered the basement flat forcefully. 

'Sherlock?' I shouted. 

There was no answer so I walked into the sitting room. Apart from a mirror there was nothing in it. The soft white curtains were billowing out in the breeze. 

I turned on my heels and walked to the bathroom. I saw a bare leg poking across the bathroom entrance. My eye followed it expecting to see a torso attached.

There was no torso.

'Sherlock?' I shouted again. This time my voice shook with slight fear.

'In here, John.'

It sounded as if he was in the bathroom but I wasn't sure. My heart started to pound. I wondered why Lestrade had been sent out into the street.

'Sherlock? Where are you? You're scaring me.'

I walked into the bathroom, edging myself bit by bit, until I saw the other bloodied leg. I gulped. 

'Sherlock, I'm scared.'

I wanted him more than ever right then. We were usually really supportive during cases and I felt alone and vulnerable. 

I pushed the door harder and walked fully into the bathroom.

Over the other side was Jim. With a gun. Pointed at Sherlock. Who was also pointing a gun. At Jim.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moriarty gets his way...

'There's a misunderstanding John. He thinks I've murdered this...boy!' Jim looked at me with pleading eyes. 

'Sherlock?'

'You haven't kept your side of our deal. And you tried to have John killed!' 

'I would never do that! I wanna...' he took a sharp intake of breath, 'I wanna see you together.'

I gulped. His eyes wandered in an insane way between us. They bulged ready to explode out of his head. 

'John...'

I looked at Sherlock. 

'Will you go upstairs and wait for me?'

'Are you sure you'll be alright?'

He nodded, breathing heavily. 

I felt a wave of love for Sherlock. I also felt vulnerable as if Jim had a piece of his heart. I felt a sudden realisation that Jim was bullying Sherlock and that he had tricked him into the mind game of having sex with him for case information. 

As I left the flat and climbed the stairs to 221b I heard Sherlock and Jim shouting very loudly, much more vigorously than they had been doing in front of me. I caught the words 'three way' and 'John' and I froze.

'I wanna see you together.' That's what Jim had said.

Jim wanted to see me and Sherlock have sex. 

I fought for breath. That's why Sherlock had sent me upstairs. And why I had followed eagerly.

I ran up the stairs, my heart thudding painfully.

The room was a mess of upturned books and newspaper cuttings along with rolled-up notes, syringes and cigars.

I took a cigar and sniffed it. A Stradavarius. The smell of security. Of wealth. 

I lit it and took a long drag.

I poured myself a whiskey and stood by the window looking down onto Baker Street where Lestrade and Sally were standing talking on their phones. 

The rain began gently at first but became harder and eventually hailstones soaked the Met police officers making Sally scream. 

I took another long drag and was enjoying the aroma and taste when I heard the door.

I looked up to see Jim walk in quickly with his head turned away from me and go towards Sherlock's bedroom.

Seconds later Sherlock came in slowly. 

'What does Jim have on you?' I asked sharply. 

'Oh John...don't be so innocent. You know exactly what's going on. It's been coming for ages.'

'Has he threatened to split on you?'

'No, John! He wants to watch us fuck!' Sherlock shouted loudly. 

'Oh Jesus Christ.'

'The quicker we get this over with the faster he'll leave.'

He stroked my hair and I moaned inside. It felt like it had been years since we made love.

'I'll do this for you if you promise to explain all of this in explicit detail to me one day soon.'

He pulled me towards him and the electricity soared inside my arms and stomach. 

'You don't get to lecture me about anything, you naughty little boy.' Sherlock whispered as he kissed my ear then returned to my lips. His kiss was so deep and powerful I lost myself instantly. 

I could feel his slight erection as he pushed me with his body towards his bedroom as he kissed me.

'Oh god. Oh fuck.'

'Let go, John. Let it happen. Forget about everything. It's just us.'

We were quickly in the corridor leading to the bath and bedrooms with Sherlock's firm pushing.

Oh god. This was it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three's a crowd?

I could see some movement and hear some noise out of the corner of my eye but couldn't directly see Jim. My attention was focused on Sherlock's mouth and his hands which were pushing my shirt up roughly.

He kissed my neck and I could clearly see Jim sat on the chair. He wasn't pleasuring himself but was sitting still. 

He leant forward onto his knees and watched intently. 

Sherlock sat up and rifled through the bedside drawer. 

'No,' I whispered. 

'Why not?'

'Not right now.'

'Please John...just forget he's here.' 

He rummaged again and I felt a surge of panic rise up. Was Sherlock on my side or had he left me? Did he care more about Jim's pleasure than mine?

'Oh noooo. Sherlock...please.' 

He clicked the handcuffs into place so I couldn't move my arms. They were permanently suspended above my head, connected to the bed.

'It's alright,' he whispered as he unzipped my trousers and pulled them down slowly while looking deeply into my eyes. My cock stirred. He lent forward and kissed me deeply, his tongue wild and passionate.

He pulled away and tugged at my pants. I had forgotten I was wearing my Mr Grumpy pair and Sherlock grinned. 

'My favourite pair! This was meant to be!' Sherlock laughed as he pulled them down to my knees. 

I lay my head back on the pillow and let him dominate me. I pulled at the cuffs as Sherlock teased me by kissing my chest, going down gradually towards my cock. I wanted to touch myself so badly. 

He brushed his tongue inside my belly button. My skin felt amazing to his touch. 

He reached underneath me and pulled my legs up so my butthole came towards him. 

The feeling of his tongue just higher than my hole was so amazing. He'd only recently begun to lick me there and it was delightful. The jolts of white heat coursed through my body as his tongue edged towards it. 

He tickled my hole with his tongue and with my pants still hoisted up in the air around my knees he slid his tongue into me so deeply it took my breath away. 

'Sherlock's a dirty boy, isn't he John?' I heard Jim's voice low and musky.

I heard him get up and unzip his trousers then and I grew hard at the thought of him getting involved. I knew I would regret it but now we were all here in the bedroom together...

I felt him climb on the bed and Sherlock's breath sped up. 

I couldn't see what Jim did behind Sherlock but the look of pleasure on Moriarty's face as he did it and the howl from Sherlock told me he had entered his arse. 

Jim almost stood up over the back of Sherlock and entered him again from above. This time the bed shook as he began fucking him and Sherlock screamed with pleasure. 

Sherlock's head came up from rimming me and I could see he was in heaven. His hands rested on my feet for support. I couldn't lift my eyes from his face. I had never seen him in such a state. 

'Ahhh...just there...yesohyes,' Sherlock screamed. It was so loud. I felt he was on a journey with Jim and I had been left behind. I wasn't as jealous as I thought I would be, just so blissfully happy watching Sherlock get fucked so well. 

It didn't take long for Sherlock to come with such a force and such a noise I thought the whole street would hear.

Jim slowed to a stop but didn't pull out. He was out of breath from bucking Sherlock who was incoherent. 

'You've got a dirty boyfriend, John. A really filthy cock-hungry slut.'

'Yeah?' I couldn't believe I was smiling and I felt horny. 

'I wanna see you fuck...I wanna see you go full blast, John.'

'Fuck me first,' I dared him. I didn't think he'd be up for it so soon after Sherlock. I'd forgotten he hadn't actually come yet.

His eyes grew wide as he realised I was telling him what to do. I couldn't believe my audacity. 

He pulled out of Sherlock and climbed round him.

Oh fuck.

He pulled my Mr Men pants off roughly and pushed my legs back against my chest.

Before I could catch my breath he'd entered me and the full enormity of the situation hit home. I was cuffed and being fucked by Moriarty. 

'Such a sweet little boy. Don't tell daddy, now!' He said as his gentle thrusts became more powerful. 

I looked over at Sherlock and there was such a look of stunned fear on his face it brought me down from my high slightly.

As his thrusts became more powerful I found myself groaning in half pain half pleasure. I tried to carry on relaxing and enjoying the ride but couldn't stop the hurt showing.

'Oh shit. Daddy's gonna kill me...he's gonna fucking kill me!' Jim whispered. 

The pain-pleasure stopped and Jim came hard inside me. 

'Ahhhh shit, fuck, he's gonna cut my heart out!' 

Jim squeezed his eyes shut as another wave of orgasm swept over him.

I realised I'd come too but I was in so much pain and pleasure I was in an altered state.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock...in love?

Sherlock's phone beeped loudly. I looked over at the bedside table. I recognised the ring tone which Sherlock had assigned to Lestrade. 

Jim was still in his semi conscious post orgasm state with his head lolled back and his eyes closed. He looked as if he would fall asleep any minute. 

'Sherlock...' I prompted him to pick the phone up. He reached over and I saw his face go white. 

He mouthed something to me but I never was good at lipreading. He mouthed it again slowly.

I gulped. Sherlock put his finger to his lips to stop me talking. I wanted it to be just us in the bedroom and for us to sort out our rows and the case but Jim has literally come between us and I was starting to resent it.

Sherlock mouthed 'play along' to me after he had sent a text message back to Lestrade.

'Mmm...you two are having a silent conversation over me and I'm enjoying every minute.' Jim whispered, his eyes still shut.

'What can it be? What to have for dinner tonight or who's going to put the washing on? It must be so good being a couple.'

I rolled my eyes and Sherlock smiled. 

'Play,' he mouthed at me. His eyes shone brightly and I focused on him instead of Jim.

I waited for him to take the lead. He gently wiped my stomach with a tissue then kissed me. He unclicked the handcuffs and moved back to Moriarty. 

I sat up rubbing my wrists and watched while Sherlock pushed Jim's arms back and cuffed them onto the bed. I couldn't believe how pliant Jim was. 

'Ooh...daddy's mad. Daddy's getting really mad!' Jim gasped - his cock was already hard again and I could feel mine stiffening as a result of watching Sherlock take complete control.

Sherlock reached for his crop underneath the bed and pulled Jim's legs up to expose his arse. 

'This is what happens when you hurt John!'

The lashing which followed was half entertaining, half frightening. Jim's deep guttural moans were a mixture of arousal tinged with pain.

'Promise me you won't hurt John!'

To my surprise Jim refused to promise, prompting another five minutes of lashing and growling in pain which ended with Jim screaming and exploding in thick jets of come. 

'Oh god. Please fuck me, daddy.' 

I had begun to rub my cock when Sherlock began beating Jim and I was feeling the first jolt of an orgasm when he brought the crop down on my hands making me stop rubbing myself. 

'No...no!' I gasped feeling the pleasure fall away from me, replaced by a sharp wasp sting of pain. 

'John. Everything you do from now on will be directed by me.'

'Yes, master.'

I remembered these games from a few years ago. I was often sore when sitting through college lectures.

'Put your blindfold on.'

I found it in the drawer and placed it over my eyes. I could see a sliver of light at the bottom.

'Pull them down so you can't see.'

I did as I was told. 

I thought I would be disciplined but Sherlock kissed me deeply, his tongue exploring my mouth freely. He ran his fingers through my hair. I shivered. It was one of the best kisses we've ever had. He massaged by back and tummy and squeezed my bum. He finished by holding me tightly. 

I wondered what had gotten it to him!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An email arrives...

It was inevitable that Moriarty would turn nasty on us, or at least me. Sherlock held a powerful sexual pull over him but I didn't. 

As Sherlock drew away and returned his affections to Jim I felt a rising rage. I removed the silk blindfold and left the bedroom quietly.

I boiled the kettle and made myself a cup of tea. The rain had stopped and Sally Donovan had disappeared. Lestrade had unusually sent me a text message. 

'Where's Sherlock? He's not responding. L'

I looked outside while thinking what to type.

The closest Lestrade had probably come to a threesome was adding cocoa sprinkles on top of his cappuccino. 

The truth was out of the question.

'In his Palace. Soon. J'

I paced the room as I heard Jim and Sherlock groaning. I felt as if he hadn't even noticed me feeling down and leaving. I sat down at my computer and opened our shared inbox.

There was an unread message which had just appeared from the day before. I was sure I had read them all on my phone but here it was in bold.

I clicked on it and an email full of dense text opened up.

'Dear Mr Holmes,' it began. Everyone always assumed they were writing to him.

'I need to alert you to a crime I have witnessed. It's a crime I don't feel I can go to the constabulary about. I don't know who I'm dealing with and rather worry I won't be able to walk freely if I am followed to the police station. 

A few nights ago I saw a scene through the gap of a curtain whilst walking past a pub through its car park. I had had a few beers admittedly. 

There was loud music coming from the pub as there was a band playing at the front. I didn't expect to see anyone in the back room. I haven't ever seen anyone stay in it. Sometimes people who know the landlord stay there if they drink too much to drive back home.

Anyway I caught a glimpse of someone briefly and they reminded me of someone famous. I shan't say who I thought they were at this stage. I can't be sure because as I said I was a little tipsy and quite tired.'

I rolled my eyes. This wasn't even going to amuse Sherlock never mind entice him to take the case. 

Something caught my eye further down the email.

'There were naked boys there I'm sure of it. Why would I imagine such a thing? I feel there is something secretive and ritual about it all. I am rather intimidated and anxious about the whole thing.

I shan't tell you what the naked boys were doing either. I just can't write it. I need to talk to you.'


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a moment of anxiety.

'John. You are ridiculous sometimes.'

Sherlock was towelling his hair after coming out from the shower. Jim had left the flat without speaking to me. Our eyes had met briefly but he had made a sharp exit. 

'I'm not being ridiculous. This sounds genuine.'

'It's a fucking wind up you hopeless wannabe Sherlock.'

'I thought we were going to investigate this child abuse thoroughly? Jesus! There's a corpse underneath us!'

'A corpse? What are you talking about?'

I stared hard at him. 

'Sherlock...?'

'You're not yourself John. We shouldn't do three ways. You can't cope.'

'We both saw a corpse of a young boy. In the ground floor flat. Lestrade and Donovan were outside.'

'Oh John. Oh...John.'

'Sherlock - if you're playing games this is not, I repeat, not funny.'

A sense of panic was rising in my throat.

Was I hallucinating when I was in the flat with the corpse in the bathroom?

I stood up and paced nervously. 

'But I heard it on the radio when I was in therapy...Sherlock? What was that all about?'

Sherlock looked over at me. 

'You heard it on the news? That a body had been found here?'

There was a silence and I realised I had been duped. Duped by Jim. I couldn't work out how I had seen a bloody corpse and Sherlock hadn't. 

I couldn't help myself. I began to cry.

'Sherlock. I don't know what's happening anymore. I feel quite unwell.'

I collapsed and I must have fainted as the next thing I knew Sherlock was kissing me awake with my legs propped up on the arm of the sofa.

'John. You've been drugged.' 

Sherlock tasted his lips. It had not been a romantic kiss.

'Drugged?'

'What were you drinking before you heard about the murder on the radio?'

'My therapist gave me tea. And chocolate fingers. I ate a lot of them. I was hungry.'

'Oh dear god.'

Sherlock stared at me and I felt fear and terror wash over us. We clung to each other for quite a while that evening.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Sherlock misunderstanding...

'I'm not sure I can do this any more.'

My words were muffled as my head was resting against Sherlock's chest. I had been listening to his heart thud against my chest.

'Do what?' Sherlock stroked my hair gently.

'Just everything. I can't cope. I'm not like you.'

'In what way? What's the problem?'

I sighed heavily.

'You really don't know?'

'No. Tell me.'

I started to cry again. I was frequently emotional during this case. 

'Jim. Is it Jim?'

'I can't do any of this. I can't share you. I don't satisfy you...you don't love me. I'm sick of not being able to trust people.'

'John. You've been drugged by your therapist, you're bound to feel taken advantage of.'

'But it's not just him. You take advantage of me too.' I said, my voice getting louder.

'You're putting me in the same category as someone who spiked your tea?'

'Yes, Sherlock. I'm putting you in the same category as the person who spiked my tea. You don't give a shit about me.'

'I paid for that therapy.'

'Yeah, you did! Exactly where DID you find him?'

'Oh right. It's like this, is it?

He shook me off him and rose from the sofa. I felt panicked. I didn't want another row but I couldn't hold back.

'How long have you been fucking him behind my back?'

'Oh for fucks sake!'

I could see his brain whirring away, his eyes sizing up how long it would take to find his coat and leave the flat.

For once I beat him. I lunged for his copy of the key and locked the door from the inside. 

His eyes flashed with anger. He stared at me and I felt a little frightened. 

'Where's Mrs Hudson?' 

'She's not in this one.' I smiled, taunting him. I felt my cock throb and realised I was enjoying the raw power I had over my lover.

'Don't do this, John. Let me go. I let you walk away.'

'Yeah. Except you didn't. You let me go and then stalked me with texts and bullied me.'

'I saved your fucking life. You know you can't play around on the Internet screwing strangers. You live with Sherlock Holmes.'

'Oh, do I? I can't screw around but you can?'

'That's totally different. I know Jim thoroughly. I know who I'm playing with. You play Russian roulette.'

'You think I'm thick as two planks don't you?'

'No, John. I think you're a very angry young man and I understand. I totally do.'

'You don't love me.'

'You never cared about that before. Why is it suddenly of concern now?'

'I feel as if I'm about to lose you.'

Sherlock sighed. 

'So what?' 

'So what if I lose you?'

'Yes. So what? Your life would be much simpler.'

'It would be much simpler if you stopped lying to me.'

'Well, sometimes I may have to. I'm a detective. There have been many things you don't know. This isn't actually the worst.'


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John kiss and make up...

Sherlock sank into the sofa after shouting at me and turned towards the back of it, sprawling clumsily.

I sat on the chair opposite and felt wretched. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Sherlock. I fancied him so much I wanted to...

I wanted to...

I stood up and crouched down by the sofa. At closer inspection I could see his back shaking slightly and I realised he was sobbing silently.

I had known Sherlock for quite a while but I had never seen him cry. He would have died rather than let me see him that way. It was testament to how stressful the case had become that he was not able to hide himself. 

'Sherlock. I know you can't say it back but I really care about you.'

To my surprise he pulled himself up and looked round at me.

Time seemed to slow as he pulled me down towards him and our lips touched. My hand went towards his hair and his beautiful damp curls. I opened my mouth wider and my tongue met his. 

I climbed on top of him slowly and pushed his arms down onto the sofa above his head. I kissed him harder, licking his teeth and darting my tongue against his. 

'Mmm...so orally fixated...'

I giggled at Sherlock's whispered observation, then took the hint. I pulled his grey t shirt up and sucked his nipples, quickly moving down his stomach, stopping at the top of his underwear. 

'Ahh...slowly...slowly...'

I rubbed his cock gently through his grey underwear, tracing its outline and admiring its stiffness. 

'Oh, fuck yes. In your mouth...Please. '

I switched to kissing his inner thighs and pulled his underwear as if to remove it then let it ping back into place.

'Ahh, John. I'm truly sorry for everything...Please, please in your mouth!'

'How sorry are you?' I asked, pulling at his pants again before letting them ping harder this time. 

'I'll tell you everything afterwards...I really will...you'll know why I'm being weird with you....Please please please!!'

I pulled his pants down roughly and left them halfway down his legs just the way he liked them. I licked the end of his cock gently. It was semi-erect so I slid my mouth round it slowly, sucking hard while gradually increasing the speed.

'Ahh shit, slowly. Slowly...ahh fuck me so slowly.'

He looked down at me and our eyes met. He was so aroused and I felt his cock grow stiffer.

He lent down and pulled my hand away from his cock. He quickly had both my hands in his, restraining me. He took control of my mouth and pumped his cock into it gently. 

I knew what he really wanted so I gave it to him. I pushed my mouth right down to the base of his cock so he was deep inside my throat. Then the deep moaning began! His cock was fully stiffened and he began to thrust my throat harder and harder.

With our hands gripped tightly, Sherlock exploded after about a minute of him accusing me of being a naughty little shit! How dare he!

I swallowed some of his cum but there was so much of it some of it dribbled out of my mouth onto his stomach.

'Oh god you're a little shit. You fucking deserved that.' Sherlock whispered pushing his fingers in my mouth in an attempt to make me swallow more. I sucked his middle finger hard making him squeeze his eyes shut with pleasure. 

'I wanted to spank you but I'm fucked.'

I laughed. 'Give it a minute.'


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected visitor finds an open door...

'Molly?' I shouted desperately. 

'Oh shit. Oh god. The door. You didn't lock the door. Oh. My. God.'

Sherlock finally stopped spanking me. I was starting to feel raw. 

'Oh god.' She covered her mouth with her hands. 'You really are his daddy!'

'Molly! I thought the door was locked. How can it be...?'

I glanced at Sherlock with a feeling of dread. We had been so engrossed in each other...

'Oh fuck. I should go....' Molly sounded sad and as if she was about to start weeping.

She opened the door but Sherlock shouted at her to stay. She began to descend the staircase and Sherlock ran to the door. 

'MOLLY! Come back at once!'

He shut the door on me and I heard them converse in the hallway of the house. At this moment I wanted him to push Molly down the stairs. 

I was so close to orgasm I continued to rub my throbbing cock, otherwise I would have attacked Molly at least verbally.

I came and moaned loudly from the release of what felt like a lifetime of tension. I watched as my cum exploded into my hand. 

'Nice to see you flying solo, John.'

Sherlock grinned at me. He had come back in. 

With Molly.

Molly gave me the coldest glare when Sherlock turned away from her.

'Well, if I don't do it...' I said sarcastically.

'Clean yourself up John. Molly has something she needs to tell us.'

'Oh, does she?' 

'Molly has been performing an autopsy on a young boy found in an alleyway in Clapham.'

'Oh yes?' I replied while wiping myself with a man size kleenex. 

'He was found next to a pub called The Nags Head.'

I froze. This was a dead body related to our case. And I wasn't high. Not from drugs anyway. 

I got dressed and stood up.

'Would you like a cup of tea, Molly?' I asked. 

'No thanks.'

'How about an OJ?'

'No. Thanks.' She glared at me.

'We don't have time for this. Molly needs to tell us more.'

'Well...really...there's not much else...other than...erm...there was evidence of violent....erm...sexual abuse.' She frowned.

'What else?'

'Lestrade said he was found with...erm...' She went quiet and began to weep.

'What, Molly?' Sherlock asked bluntly. 

'Take your time,' I said, glaring at Sherlock. 

She sobbed.

'He was found with evidence of castration and...'

We looked at each other. Sherlock was shocked. 

'And...It had been pushed into his mouth. Oh god it's so disgusting.'

'It's alright Molly.' Sherlock said bluntly. 

I swallowed hard. I could hardly cope with the events of today.

'Lestrade said you might know him. He was homeless and he often saw him begging outside Clapham Junction.' Molly blurted out quickly in a panic.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new patient...

It was after the events of the last chapter that everything went dark. 

Nothing happened. For 18 months. 

I lived alone. 

I cannot begin to describe how I spent my days. I worked part-time at the surgery and that's mostly what I remember about this period. The endless rush of patients with complex needs whose dire situations would make me realise just how lucky I was to have my bank account flooded sporadically with large amounts of cash and to have a nice warm flat all to myself.

One patient I was seeing regularly was 17 and called Sadie. She was bulimic and unfortunately triggered my own eating disorder from my teenage years. On the surface I weighed her with a measured cold manner but underneath I was counting calories and making myself ill after everything I ate.

It came to a point where I needed to pass her over to a therapist after she had finally achieved the necessary requirements and assessments for psychological help. During our last appointment for a while, I tried hard not to get emotional.

"You may never fully recover but I wish you all the best in achieving a state in which you can live as full a life as possible."

She looked up with tears in her eyes.

"So is this it? No more appointments?"

"Well, I will need to continue monitoring you for a while after therapy but your therapist will take my monitoring role for the next few months at least."

"Oh. OK."

She left with lowered shoulders and her now baggy jacket pulled over itself at the front trying to keep warm as she walked out of my overheated office.

"I'll be here just the same Sadie."

She hesitated then slammed the door and I knew she wouldn't come back to me. 

I knew because I would have done the same at her age.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadie returns...

I didn't see Sadie for quite a while after that until I saw her walking along Baker Street in tights and a floral dress. She looked very smart and was holding a very expensive looking handbag.

I did wonder momentarily why she was walking along Baker Street just as I was returning from work but this thought was quickly forgotten as she approached and I could see her amazing figure. She took her sunglasses off to talk to me.

"Dr Watson!"

She seemed surprised. 

"Sadie. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Really well, now."

"Have you finished your therapy?"

"Erm, yeah...nearly. My diagnosis changed."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was sectioned six months ago for anorexia."

"God. Christ! Listen, do you want to come up for a cup of tea?"

"Erm, yeah, yeah, okay. Do you live alone?"

"Yes. At the moment I do." I led the way up the stairs of 221 to flat B.

We settled in front of the fireplace. The weather was slowly warming towards spring and Mrs Hudson had placed some daffodils around the room.

"So you were sectioned...against your will or did you choose to be admitted?"

"Against my will. Initially I asked for help and at first nothing happened but a couple of months later I was suddenly admitted when I had changed my mind. I went along thinking I was going to be there for a week just to placate them but at the end of it I was spoken to and more or less imprisoned. It was quite terrifying."

"I'm really sorry that happened to you. I've heard from patients it can be most unsettling especially when the gravity of the illness does not impress itself fully upon you."

She smiled at me and sipped her tea.

"It still feels amazing to walk freely and organise my own days. My own shopping especially. I had to order everything online and have someone sit by me for a whole hour after mealtimes! Such a nightmare."

I eyed her legs again. They were not skeletal but could have some more muscle on them. She was such a pretty girl. I had not had the pleasure of female company for quite some time except obviously in my medical work but mostly it was the wrong side of sixty.

"So...What are you plans?"

" Oh, erm. I was on my way back home." she shifted in her seat and I sensed she wanted to say something awkward.

"Actually I've been reading your blog..."

"Oh. Really? Stalking?!" I laughed.

She did not laugh but stared dreamily at me. 

"Where's Sherlock? Have you split up?"

"Oh!" I was startled by her direct question. It had been ages since anybody had enquired of his whereabouts.

"Oh. He's abroad on a case. Has been for quite a while." I lied easily.

"Are you still...you know...together?"

"Sadie, these are very personal questions. Are they leading anywhere? Is there anything we need to say to each other?"

"Erm. No...well I think I'm crushing on you a bit. It always happens with older men in authority. I hate myself for it. Such a cliche. Do you hate me now?" she giggled and blushed.

"Look, Sadie, you're a really sweet girl and I'm happy to have a coffee with you if you want to make a date but you can't stay as my patient. I wouldn't be happy with that."

"Oh. OK. Just coffee?"

I put my cup of tea down and took a deep breath in. It had been a while since I made a move on a girl but I sat in front of her on the foot rest and she leant forward. 

"Are you sure you want to date me? Me? Sad, lonely Dr Watson?" I teased her.

"Yeah. It might be fun."

Fun. Not related to a case. I was starting to get excited at the prospect.

I lent forward and kissed her on the lips gently to gauge her reaction. To my surprise she pulled away sharply.

"Oh. Let's not get carried away!"

Damn! I thought I'd blown it until she stood up and smiled again.

"Can I see you tomorrow? I'm at college briefly in the morning then I've got all afternoon to chat to you?"

All afternoon? Good grief, what would I do with a college student for that length of time in public?

"Meet me tomorrow in Starbucks down the road. 1pm. I'll need to eat lunch so don't eat before."

"OK."


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big date...

It was quarter past one and Sadie was late. I was late myself and had looked round Starbucks frantically to apologise profusely and to blurt out my excuse that a phone call about a case had had to be answered. 

However in reality I had made myself late by attempting to iron a shirt. I never ironed. I usually left this task to Mrs Hudson but even she never ironed this particular shirt. I later realised it was designed to look crumpled and ironing it made it look very odd indeed. I ended up wearing a work shirt and work trousers which made me feel as if I was going to surgery on my day off. It had all made me feel very tense indeed.

Sadie was nowhere to be found. I realised we had not exchanged mobile phone numbers but I found myself still peering at my iPhone as if it would tell me the answer to life's most complex questions.

I paced at the front of the cafe trying to imagine why she might be late until she finally turned up at 1.45pm.

"So sorry! There was a problem on the tube. I forgot to get your number."

I proceeded to give it to her and she 'pranked' me to give me hers. 

I watched her eat her lunch after finishing mine. She was taking ages and had started to pull the last bit of her sandwich apart with her tiny fingers and was rolling the ham between them in a most grotesque way.

"So, what do you study at college Sadie?"

"Oh, erm. I'm nearly at the end of my A levels. I got good results last year. I've been studying while at the centre. I'm hoping to go to Cambridge if they'll let me in!" 

"Cambridge? Wow. What grades did you get?"

"I got all A stars so far but I'm worried about my biology exam. It just keeps getting harder. I'm doing biology, philosophy and maths. I want to study PPE at Cambridge. Dad says it's the best course."

"Really? What does your dad do?"

"Oh. I don't really know. Something important and well paid. We never really properly know to be honest."

"Wow. That must be hard for you."

"Yeah, yeah, it's a bit weird but mum seems happy with it."

I watched as she struggled with the last mouthful and heard the loud gulp. She washed it down with water. 

"That's hard too..."

"Yeah. It is sometimes. It's because I'm dehydrated."

I stood up immediately before I was conscious of making a decision and brought the water jug back to the table.

"Ahh...lovely. Thank you Dr Watson."

"John to you. Shall we go back to mine? I could try and help you with your biology homework?" 

Shit! That sounded like a sexual invitation but it wasn't I was genuinely interested.

She blushed and I knew I had blown it. What an idiot!

"Yeah..." she said, "that would be really helpful."


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bump to the head

"Sherlock!" 

I tried to focus. I took a breath in and his body blurred into two black and blue shapes. 

"Sherlock? Why am I in Peru?"

I fought hard but my words slurred into each other. My tongue was a lead weight and I was worn out after the sentence.

"You're not in Peru! I'm in London, John!"

"Shit. I'm in Peru."

"John. Stop it. Just lie back. You're in St Barts. You were drugged and knocked unconscious."

"Sherlock...daddy I missed you!" I managed to slur.

"John!"

I noticed something move and I slowly moved my head to the left. Sitting in a chair by a wardrobe was Sadie, looking embarrassed.

"What...happ...?"

"John, you were attacked. You were out walking with Sadie. I can't tell you more than that at this current time. Now lie back you fucking tit of an idiot."

I looked back at Sherlock. I hadn't seen him for 18 months and now he was here by my bedside. 

He took pity on me and kissed me softly on my forehead. 

"I've taken care of everything. Your nurse is male and looks just like me. Feel free, John. Feel free! Sadie will bring you tea!"

He turned on his heels with a flourish of his hand and shut the door behind him. 

"John. I'm so sorry. I didn't see the guy coming."

"How long have you had to put up with Sherlock? What happened?"

"We were walking back from Starbucks a couple of days ago. Someone came out of nowhere as we turned into 221 Baker Street. He smothered your face with a cloth then punched you...the fumes made me really sick but I managed to call an ambulance."

"Christ. Are you feeling OK now?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I've been so worried about you. I've just been sat here talking to you. Then Sherlock arrived. I think he thought I had just been a witness at first."

"He's a knob. Sorry on behalf of him."

"Does this mean you're still together?"

"Sadie. Not now, please. I feel like shit."

She looked forlorn.

"Sherlock's been abroad working on a case. Nothing else has changed between us."

"I'll get you a cup of tea."

She left and shut the door. Almost immediately a nurse came in. He was indeed just like Sherlock in appearance but I felt no attraction towards him. It was not just his curls or eyes that attracted me but his intelligence, wit and cold warmth that simultaneously infuriated and enamoured me. No one else could match that.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post holiday blues?

I had to discharge myself from hospital but did not have my mobile to tell Sherlock or Sadie. The nurses would not listen to my protests at being kept beyond the weekend for five days. It was in the middle of the night and I slowly dressed myself, shaved and packed my bag. 

I caught the night bus back home using my oyster card. Strangely, Sherlock had left that in my wallet while stripping it of my bank cards and money. I couldn't work out his logic - why let me travel but not spend any money or text anyone?

I entered the flat at 2.30 in the morning. It was quiet so I assumed Sherlock was not in. I put the kettle on and was glad to see the packet of bacon at the bottom of the fridge had not moved and that I had some bread for a buttie. 

I had just sat down to eat it when I heard the door move. I looked up but I couldn't see anything. We had always had an issue with objects moving of their own accord due to possible vibrations through the walls from the other flats so I ignored it and happily ate the first proper food I had for a week. Dried up meat and builders tea. I didn't know how I'd survived.

"John. You disobeyed me."

I stopped chewing. Sherlock. His voice deep and masterful. 

"I had to leave. The telly broke." 

"The telly broke?"

"You know how addicted I am to Eastenders. I had to know if Kat's okay."

"I was protecting you. You were safe in there."

"Sherlock." I put my bacon buttie down. "You don't get to control me. Only when I want you to. Oh and by the way are you back for good or just visiting?"

"John. The investigation has reached a turning point after my visit to Peru."

"So you have been working on the case!"

"That's all I can tell you for now. Don't assume people in this country won't be angered or worried. Some of them have recently been seen in your company."

"Oh I get it!"

I could see Sherlock psyching himself up for an argument.

"You get what?"

"You're jealous of Sadie."

He walked away from me then and went into his own world. During this time he smoked two cigarettes, drank a glass of whiskey and lay silently on the sofa.

I took this time to think who else I had been in the company of. Sadie was just one of a few women I had 'been around' in the past eighteen months if truth be told.

There was Hamish, a guy I'd picked up at gay bear bar when staying in Bristol for a medical conference. The world of bears was completely new to me - I had not been on the gay scene for long before moving in with Sherlock. Hamish was bearded and rugged, everything Sherlock wasn't. I had a very chilled out night in the hotel with a very long relaxing blow job and several bottles of beer on room service. 

Who else had entered my company? All my patients of course. Sadie was just one of hundreds. Endless dizzying hours spent talking to strangers about everything from hepatitis and HIV to bowel cancer and liver disease. I hadn't noticed anything odd apart from Sadie bumping into me.

I thought harder and harder as the smoke from Sherlock's cigarette surrounded my head and made me relax. I made myself another bacon buttie and cup of tea. 

There had been a new secretary at the surgery but she was married with children. I did have a little crush on her but I'd self contained it, like a fire.

No, no it wasn't her. She spent her evenings knitting and looking after her quadruplets.

I squirted tomato sauce on the sandwich and pushed the bread down hard. I was so hungry I could have eaten ten.

I thought back to a year ago. We'd had a fair few new doctors at the surgery and a couple of them were rather too big for their boots but nothing out of the ordinary.

I was at a loss as to who had entered my company who could be connected with Sherlock's investigations in Peru. 

"John?"

"Yep?"

"Can I ask you to trust me fully and completely just as you did before I went away?"

"I think I do."

"You think? Do you think I've been with Jim?"

I was shocked. I hadn't even thought about that. 

"No. I would hope you haven't."

"Are we a polyamorous couple would you say?"

"I see you're assuming we're a couple in that statement."

"You make judgements about who I sleep with and I criticise your choices. Then we argue. Of course we're a couple."

There was a pause where Sherlock poured another whiskey.

"It doesn't mean anything. When I fuck him."

I stopped dead. My stomach flipped. 

"You fucked him? In Peru?"

"Cuzco to be exact."

"What was he doing there?"

"Leading me into utter temptation like the demon he is."

"Sherlock..."

"And of course it doesn't mean anything at all when you fuck Sadie."

I froze. 

"Erm...I haven't. We only just met before I went into hospital."

"She has very particular hair clips, your friend..."

"Sorry?"

"Pink hairclips. Claire's. A pound for twenty. Or maybe reduced to fifty pence."

"Sadie's not a well girl. Please don't be nasty about her."

"I'm not. I just don't want her sleeping in our bed with you..."

He leant forward with a pink hairclip...

"...without my fucking permission."

I had absolutely no idea how Sherlock had come across a hair clip from Sadie's hair. 

"She was here but in the bathroom and in the chair. She didn't go into our room."

"And now lying to cover up your mischief. Like the disobedient little boy you are."

"No. Not that daddy thing. Not now. You haven't told me what you've been doing with Jim in Peru. You leave me alone in the flat for eighteen months and expect me to sit in alone night after night while you have the time of your life?" I shouted, losing my temper.

"Yes! That's exactly what I expect you to do you damned idiot boy! And I was not having the time of my life. I was investigating The Nag's Head if you must know."

"See? That's what I mean - I'm considered part of your detective team when you're here but not invited to Peru. So what am I to you, Sherlock? It doesn't sound like a partnership to me."

"You can't act. That's why you weren't invited."

"Oh?"

"You can't act. You're useless. You're transparent. You can't lie. Yet you try so hard."

"So what part did you play out in Peru?"

Sherlock sighed. He found a cigar and lit it. He knew I loved the soft aroma.

"A sex tourist. Looking for innocent young boys."

"Oh. Right! Did you now?" I asked sarcastically. "Did you put on a special hat?"

"Oh John. You're so ridiculous when you're angry. And you leave things so undone. You still haven't explained the hair clip."

"I was acting."

"Really. What part?"

"The deserted boyfriend."

"She drugged you. That's why I've come back. She drugged you."

"Sadie?"

"You need to get away from her. You need to learn to keep your pants on. I'm watching you. And stop fighting me."


	26. Chapter 26

"I love fighting you. And if you stayed around long enough to fuck me once in a while I might not fuck other people so much."

I got up to leave from the table but Sherlock was restraining me from behind so firmly I couldn't breathe. I felt sick from the bacon and felt a sudden wave of terror. 

"No! Fuck off. Let me go!"

"Let you go where? Back to the hospital with the nurse you were coming all over the other night or perhaps you could run to a hostel again or maybe you could fuck Sadie while her mother sleeps in the next room in her parental home where mummy and daddy look after her so very well."

"No. How did you get so strong? Let me go! You're sick!"

"Must be the power of love." Sherlock whispered. He dragged my arms back and before I knew it cold metal was wrapped around my wrists with a clunk.

"Oh fuck. No. Sherlock. No. Please don't." I knew he wasn't going to unlock me for a long time.

"Say you're sorry to daddy. Say it very slowly so daddy knows you mean it."

"No! Let me go!"

"Let's go and see if there's any more hairclips in my bed shall we?"

I resolved not to move but Sherlock had me off the floor over his shoulder within a couple of seconds. I wanted to scream and shout but I was so tired I let him move me with his strange new arms.

He let me fall into bed and I lay uncomfortably on my side. I was semi erect and throbbing.

Sherlock rubbed my arse through my trousers pressing his fingers against my crack through the thin material. His breath became louder.

"Oh John. Please play with me. I need this so much."

I let myself moan then, reassured that it was still just a game and I wasn't really going to come to any harm.

He undid my belt from behind and pulled my trousers and pants down forcefully. 

"I bet your arsehole is so fucking hungry." He said tracing it with his finger. My cock hardened. Sherlock lent over to the bedside drawer and began to soften my skin and relax my arse with lube.

He passed something under my nose which after I had taken a breath in made my cock stiffen to full erection and made me moan loudly.

"Say you're sorry. Very sorry daddy. I won't do it again daddy. Never ever. Or daddy won't bugger your arse until you lose all sense."

"Sherlock...daddy...sorry."

"Tell me how you fucked her."

He sped his fingers up inside my arse until I tried to roll onto my front to spread my legs wider. He kissed me and uncuffed and recuffed me so my arms were above my head attached to the bedpost. I spread my legs on my back, raised them higher and lifted myself up off the bed. Sherlock plunged his fingers deeper.

"Tell me, I really want to know. Did you fuck her arse?"

"No." I could still just about speak. My cock hardened again and Sherlock stroked it with his other hand for a few seconds taking his hand away much too soon.

"Didn't you at least finger her up the arse? I'm disappointed in you. No anal for over a year. What will we do with you?"

I moaned so deeply I couldn't believe the noise was coming from me. It sounded like a dog. Raw and looking for meat.

I closed my eyes and felt Sherlock's cock pushing into me, at first just like his fingers and then....he hit the spot. I thrust myself up to get him deeper, deeper and deeper still. He moved slightly and his cock began to miss that spot against the wall until I got it into position again. Sparks of hot pleasure made me lose all sense of where I was in the world or even who I was with. All that mattered was the pleasure spot and stimulating it with Sherlock's cock harder and faster. I could hear Sherlock growling and grunting and his eyes were squeezed shut with pleasure. We became two animals rutting and I descended into a trancelike state. 

"Daddy I'm yours all yours tied to your bed just for your pleasure." I slurred out before I descended into oblivious animal moans once more.

He bent to kiss me and our tongues felt as good as him shafting me deep inside.

He kissed me for a few more seconds before speeding up inside me faster and faster until he shouted, "little sweet fucking schoolboy mine!" and came hard the waves of pleasure possessing him with an intensity I had rarely felt since our first few months of long hard fucking sessions.

It only took a few strokes of my hand before I came hard too in huge waves of cum up over Sherlock's stomach.


	27. Chapter 27

Sherlock lay quietly for a few minutes until his phone alerted him to a text message. I looked up and Sherlock sleepily reached his arm out to pick it up. It took him a while to open his eyes and I started to remember the whiskey he was drinking as I came down from our chem sex session.

"Shit," I heard him say.

It took a few moments more while I tried to gently find out the source of the message. I even began to prise it from his fingers until he snatched it away from me at the last second.

"John. We're in danger. We need to get out of here."

He managed to lift himself off the bed and gulped before he stood up and started scrambling around for his trousers.

"It's 5 am!" I protested.

"Shit! Shit. They'll be here in 12 minutes."

"Who? Who will be here? Sherlock?"

He uncuffed me then and switched one of the metal bracelets to his right wrist.

"Do. As. I. Fucking. Tell. You. And shut up while you're doing it." He shouted.

We were outside in the morning dawn light with Sherlock pulling me by his wrist. I had never been forced to run by anyone in handcuffs and the feeling was truly terrifying. He had become so strong and fit I found it challenging to keep up with him as he sprinted down Baker Street.

We hid in a side street where I tried to get my breath back.

"Too fast," I panted, "you've cut my wrist."

"Sorry," he said, "please trust me John. Force yourself to trust me. I love you."

He made as if to kiss me but I pulled back in disgust. I heard sirens then. At least two.

"He's made a bastard of you. Moriarty's little whipping boy. And you don't get to love me anymore. If I wasn't trapped I'd turn you in."

He gulped again with the shock of my words but panicked and began to run again, this time at a steady pace, weaving his way around the back streets of North London with ease. Eventually we came to a stop in a disused warehouse and I felt even more scared than when we were running.

He was out of breath but looking at me with a protective gaze.

"John...John...John."

I thought he was going to hit me but he began to sob.

"I've done it. People are getting arrested."

I was too gobsmacked to reply.

"They're trying to bring me down with them. I don't have to leave you any more. I'll always be there for you. Like I used to be."

"What have you done? Why are you running from the police if you've done nothing wrong?"

"You know how thick Lestrade is! You know he won't sit and think about anything as complex as me infiltrating a child sex ring."

"Shit! Not just posing as a sex tourist?"

"No. I followed a tip off from Mycroft. One of his friends tipped him off about trafficking children from Peru. He said he'd have you killed if I told you. I love you John...please answer me..."

"I love you too Sherlock but you know that. You know that too well." I couldn't believe I had said that. "Has he been arrested?"

"Who? Mycroft?"

We both laughed then and I kissed him gently.

"Jim?"

I nodded.

"He's never getting out of jail as long as he lives if I have anything to do with it," he whispered in my ear.

My heart leapt again and I felt lifted off the ground by the power of his feelings for me.

There was another siren then and Sherlock tensed up again.

"What will you say? What on earth will you say?"

I heard a thud of a car door slam and heels walking towards the warehouse.

"The truth. And just enough members of the jury will believe me, I'm sure."


	28. Chapter 28

Sherlock was taken away by Sally and Lestrade with minimal fuss. I stood quietly for a few seconds. 

"John."

I turned round in shock. My name echoed around the draughty warehouse.

I heard someone walk towards me. The stick. The pin stripe suit. Mycroft.

"Come upstairs with me, John. We need to talk."

He climbed the stairs and I nervously followed.

There was an old fashioned unused office upstairs and I felt as if I was about to be disciplined by a boss.

"A few things need to be explained to you. A case has reached its conclusion and you must be feeling confused that Sherlock keeps disappearing."

I nodded as I sat down on an uncomfortable wooden chair with a thin red cushion.

"Quite a few people are going to be arrested over the next few days. The newspapers on line are already full of it. There's to be an inquiry. I'll make sure of it."

"John, Sherlock took you off the case at the start because you were involved."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Now you're losing me."

"You were very animated about The Nag's Head. He wondered why..."

"Oh right. I see."

"So he approached me and we began to work together. We quickly found out you had been to The Nag's Head. There's a photo of you. We were given it. I can't tell you who by."

"It's not me. I've never been in there. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right. John, are you still seeing your therapist?"

I got up and began to pace. 

"No. Not for a while."

"It's you in the photograph. Sherlock is one hundred per cent certain. He's seen other pictures of you as a child."

I realised I was crying then. Tears pouring. I didn't want Mycroft to see me so I turned away.

"You don't have to do anything. We'll bring these people to justice without you if you can't bear it."

I sat back down but turned away from Mycroft. I rested my head in my hands and lost control. I couldn't believe it but when I thought about it it made sense.

"You might not remember being there. You were eight and nine while the abuse was carried out. Children are blindfolded on their way there if they are over a certain age. You won't have known where you were or who you were with. I need to know if you can remember anyone's voice. I don't want to put pressure on you. It may take a while. Of course Sherlock will pay for your therapy as usual, although he has been paid a large undisclosed figure for his work on this case. You will find five hundred thousand pounds in your account. That should give you options. Sherlock doesn't know I've paid you so much. He thinks it's a thousand. But what's the difference between a thousand and half a mill between friends, eh?"

I didn't care about the money at that point in time. 

"I do remember. It's why I hate him so much. His voice...the way he says certain words. The way he taunts everyone. They didn't keep my blindfold on. Don't tell Sherlock."

"I think you should let him know. He needs to know. He needs to look after you better."

"Yeah. He's been a bit distracted lately," I managed to smile.

"Sherlock says you've lost weight again and you aren't eating particularly well. The fallout from this case will be everywhere. Be careful what you read or watch. If you need to go, to get away, then use the money. You must. Don't save it. Improve your life."

I nodded. 

"Thank you. For the money."

"It's my way of saying sorry...for Sherlock!" 

"Yeah, he's a tit sometimes."

"He'll never change. He'll always be cruel. But he does love you, I'm sure."


	29. Chapter 29

Sherlock didn't get arrested. Neither did Mycroft. I was questioned after Sherlock, something I didn't expect. It threw me into a panic but I managed to close my eyes and just talk in the interview room. 

Sherlock seemed to have more respect from the police after this case. He didn't have immunity from prosecution but it was hinted at by Lestrade. I couldn't believe the hours of secret camera footage Sherlock had managed to record of the abuse sessions at The Nag's Head and over in Peru. The videos of Moriarty drugged and beating boys to within an inch of their life after raping them was something I'll never forget and I felt infinity sorry for the jury.

I switched on the TV day after day where arrest after arrest was made. And then one day the final shock came.

Sherlock was practising his violin and I was typing a blog post when an image of a man appeared on the muted TV along with a name. I stopped typing and Sherlock's violin was silenced.

I flicked the sound on. I knew instantly. Moriarty. He'd been doubly sentenced to life in prison. I took a sharp intake of breath. 

"He'll get out." I found myself saying.

"No. He won't, John. He'll rot inside. And he'll rot in prison too."

He grabbed the remote out of my hand but I wouldn't let go.

"I want to hear!"

"Hear what? It's over. Finished."

He managed to switch the TV off fully and pushed me back onto the sofa, straddling me so I couldn't get up.

"Do as I say. I never used to have to request your compliance so much."

I laughed and went to kiss him but he drew back.

"Did I say you could do that?"

"Oh. I see. It's like that!"

He reached his right arm to fetch my phone and clicked around for a while.

"We're having a party to celebrate. Lestrade, Molly, Sadie, Mrs Hudson, who will conveniently reappear as it begins, Mycroft...if we have to! If there's any justice in the world we'll be left with a Sadie and Molly ménage à quatre."

"What?"

He dialled someone on my phone and handed it to me. 

"Flirt with her."

"Who?"

"Sadie. Tell her it's a party and hint." He pressed the speakerphone button.

"Oh. Hi Sadie." We had only texted before so it felt nerve wracking to talk to her with no idea of what I was doing.

"I got your text. I forgot to reply. I can come tonight, it's a really good time actually I've just finished my last exam! I feel like a drink and a party."

I wondered if she realised it was me. I hadn't sent a text. Sherlock grinned at me and I realised.

"Which subject? How did it go?"

"Maths! Probability and chance. My brain is well and truly fried. I've been clearing up my bedroom and archiving my revision notes. Just in case."

"Just in case what? You become a lecturer? Your notes will be much harder than A level if you end up doing that."

"In case I fail, silly! I don't want to let go. When I get my results I'll have a bonfire."

Sherlock sniggered to himself at this and I found it hard to keep a straight face.

"So what time shall I be there? Tell me later so I don't arrive too early with you unpacking the snacks or something."

"Oh. Erm, about 8.30?" I said, knowing she would be late.

"Cool. I'll see you tonight. And you Sherlock!"

She ended the call before I could say anything.

"How much have you told her?"

"A bonfire?" Sherlock asked. "She has that many notes on paper? Does she not use a computer?!"

"Shut up. Text Molly."

"Already done. Make me a coffee, you gorgeous idiot boy."


	30. Chapter 30

Predictably enough there was no party. No one appeared but Sadie. Sherlock disappeared into the kitchen to examine the skeleton of a bird and drink coffee. 

She was wearing a white floaty summer dress and I wondered if she had indulged in a light spray tan. Her lips were bright red.

We were snuggled on the sofa watching Netflix with a bottle of wine and crisps when she made a move on me. I had tried not to give it any thought but I began to wonder if she was a virgin. I had only had that experience once before and the thought of having it again made me nervous but thrilled all at once. How to bring the subject up? I would have to try and relax and let the question arise if it needed to.

I reciprocated by kissing her back and noticed she was much more eager and relaxed about exploring my mouth with her tongue. She smelled beautiful and I was aroused very quickly by her actions. I stroked her right leg until I felt more confident to go higher and traced the hem of her dress with my fingers brushing her thighs. She moaned very quietly and kissed me harder. I edged higher under her dress and was delighted to feel her wetness soaking through her knickers. I could smell the heavy scent of her cunt in the summer air and I rubbed her gently until she moaned.

"Is that nice?" I asked.

"Oh god. I'm so aroused. Yes."

"Shall we go to my room for a bit?"

"No...out here. I can't believe you're doing that to me."

"Lie back gorgeous."

She lay on her back after I unzipped her dress and removed it along with her knickers.

I couldn't wait to go down on her. I licked her slightly bushy cunt in its slit to tease her and tickled her clit by flicking my tongue against it fast. I slid my fingers inside her deeply and sucked hard then softly on her clit. 

She moaned so softly and politely but sexually enough to arouse my cock and I stroked it. Her moans got louder and louder still and then I realised why.

I heard footsteps behind me and a loud smack on my arse which made me cry out in pain. 

"Shit!"

"I don't recall you telling me our party had started."

There was a few seconds where I was stunned from the sting on my arse and then I felt a harder whack after a whizzing sound through the air.

"Oh shit! Sherlock. You cunt."

"Two cunts, John. You must be in heaven."

Another hit, harder this time until I felt panic and then resentment Sherlock was interrupting me. 

"No, Sherlock!"

I leapt off the sofa and felt overwhelmed. My arse throbbed.

"Don't just leave Sadie there. I want to see you fuck her."

"How?" I felt scared as I eyed the belt in his hands. He caught my eye and we gazed at each other for a moment.

"I don't want to see that, fuck her properly right inside her."

Sadie's thighs were glistening and she was fingering herself furiously while stroking her clit. The realisation that she wanted me along with Sherlock hit me.

"Keep doing that!" I said as I lifted her light body onto all fours and fucked her from behind. She showed no signs of nerves and I didn't feel there was any resistance just low guttural moans as I fucked her deeper and deeper.


	31. Chapter 31

"I can't believe it. You're in love with her?" Sherlock was incredulous. I knew he was shocked because he'd lit a cigarette and wasn't smoking it. He held it aloft. The smoke disappeared into the kitchen.

"I didn't quite say that. Sherlock..."

"You can't afford it. You'll lose your job."

"They're getting a locum GP in over the summer and my finances are none of your business. Sadie has her own allowance and her parents are very happy about the plans we have made."

"You sought parental permission? What is this, a school residential?"

"No. Just a few months away in a cottage."

I sighed. 

I picked up my iPad and began to read the Telegraph. I knew it would infuriate him but I didn't know what else to say.

"Are you going to make a habit of this? Fucking women to wind me up? Will you ever make a decision about which gender you're attracted to?"

"Oh. I see. Biphobia now? Classy, Sherlock."

"I just don't understand why you would pick straight sex over a gay fucking. No emotions. Whenever you feel like it."

"It's so nice being with someone who isn't obsessed with sex. It really is. So refreshing. Such intelligence and depth."

"Get ready for the emotional backlash. She'll lose interest when she goes to university. Freshers week. All those boys gagging for it. Full of cum."

"Not everything's about sex!" I lost my temper finally and raised my voice.

"Oh. Isn't it? Isn't it, now? Is that what you're preparing to post on your secret blog?"

I couldn't speak. 

"Isn't that the whole point of your secret sex blog? That your whole life is about sex? How hypersexual you are after being abused? How addicted you are to writing your ebook romps? It's a great read by the way."

"How did you find it?"

"Oh, John. You're so naive. You're too childish for this adult life you want. You're a boy in your father's shoes! You never used to keep secrets from me. We used to trust each other and have fun. I don't know you."

"It's none of your business. Plenty of people write sex blogs these days. It doesn't mean a thing. It's my way of working out my head."

"Why won't you go back to therapy?"

"I can't trust anyone. Not even him."

"You shagged him, didn't you?"

"Yes. Or rather he fucked me!"

We were half laughing, half wanting to kill each other then. 

"You know I'm sexually obsessed. You wouldn't have me any other way."

I tugged at his trousers and unzipped them. The argument was over.

I couldn't wait to suck his cock. I slid my mouth all the way down to the hilt and back up again until Sherlock began to thrust down into my throat. I blew him for a long time, until the darkness descended around the flat and we collapsed into a happy ball of fucking on the sofa.


End file.
